Terug: An Exploration of Homesickness, Community, and Land-longing
In an attempt to digest and process an enduring love for humanity, my exhibit desires to bring a sense of comfort to those who feel fundamentally unsafe in the world, not necessarily from a place of fear but from an enduring sense of unease. As of now, I describe this anxious feeling as homesickness for a place between the layers of reality, for a space we occupied before our lives began. Since I became conscious of my awareness and occupation of my body, I have struggled with this feeling. I remember lying awake in the middle of the night at the age of five, wrapped up in my pink blankets, crying in the dark to myself and whispering, “I want to go home.” As a child, that is one of the most perplexing emotions: a desire to return to the place you currently reside, but it feels incorrect.
I still struggle to make sense of this anxiety. For many years, I dismissed the feeling; I believed it was nonsensical and irrational. My Senior Independent Study seeks to explore this through unconscious connections to land, space, and place. At present, I am working with words like “safety, comfort, and homesickness,” but I still do not feel those pinpoint the specific longing that I am seeking to describe. I believe this feeling goes beyond verbalization, which is why I have such a difficult time finding accurate language and why I believe it can best be represented through physical experience. I can only seek to find comfort in between the veils of existence, learn to be present, and share what I am finding with others.
Inside my sculpture, I try to find this peace, seen and unseen, in place and removed from it. The repeated pattern of bean shapes in the veil hung from the ceiling grounds me, reminiscent of blood cells and atoms that make up the world; they represent the individual and the whole. Unified, they create the landscapes of life and existence while constantly vibrating with energy in movement, real and unreal, seen and unseen.
Tara Brunner ‘24
Advisor: Daren Kendall
All images copyright © 2024 Tara Brunner. All rights reserved.
