Ekstasis
This journey began with death.
I am seven years old. A restless wind worries the surface of the water. It is cold and brown, climbing up my ankles, then calves, up to my waist. My pastor speaks in practiced words:
“In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”
I am submerged. The world is quiet in those few moments beneath the lake’s living weight. There are no church walls or echoing hymns, just the sound of my own rushing ears and the feeling of hands pressing me down. When I emerge, chest heaving, I meet the gaze of a dead fish riding the energy of the surging waters. Its eye is yellow and lifeless. The piercing gaze of the fallen Ichthys seemed, then, to look through, beneath, and beyond the tethers that bound my soul and my body.
The question of the body, soul, and spirit grounds this work. The title of this show, Ekstasis, means “to stand outside one’s self.” Being queer, my body and my Self are in a state of perpetual misalignment. Despite this, I have always felt that God, lacking a true body Himself, commands the ability to see beneath my skin. He sees me in all that I am. The one true witness to the soul otherwise obscured by the flesh.
This exhibition is a philosophical narrative of my relationship with Faith. I looked to Friedrich Nietzsche’s theories about the Apollonian and Dionysian to answer the questions of Faith and the Self. The Apollonian is associated with the Greek sun god, Apollo. It is defined by order, structure, precision, and rational beauty. The Dionysian, named after the god of wine, Dionysus, is chaos, ecstasy, and frenzied irrationality. True beauty arises in the harmony between these opposing forces. This exhibition captures this harmony.
The strict architecture of metal, the chaotic gesture of oil paint, and the connection to nature brought by clay and artifacts collected from the site of my baptism in the form of stone and driftwood.
The all-seeing, yellow gaze I met on the day of my baptism foreshadowed the tumultuous relationship I would have with Faith. This narrative begins with the end and ends with the beginning.
Mishi Anderson ‘26
Advisor: Daren Kendall
All images copyright © 2026 Mishi Anderson. All rights reserved.
